Living day by day

Every day, I go to work. Then I go home. Then I sleep. Then I wake up and then I rush to go to work.

Cycle after cycle of the same routine and yet I don't really want to break out.

I have a peace in this routine. I enjoy life's routines and the little pleasures.

I especially look forward to the routine of hanging onto late Fridays, grocery shopping on Saturdays and cooking dinners and soups. Sunday's praise and worship followed by naps, facials or spa, read a book or surf aimlessly and preparing for the week ahead.

My friends and family warn me that if I don't break out of the comfort zone, I won't be able to get married. Find some one and move on to another phase....set up family and get kids.

I sometimes think if my job weren't so challenging and that I enjoy it so much then I would perhaps want to seek another phase. If I didn't enjoy my family and life's little pleasures so much, then I would be compelled to try something different.

I remember my wanderlust - in travelling the world to see as much of what I am curious about since I was 18. Then the wanderlust of hoping from industry to industry in search of finding my calling. I had experienced supermarkets, media and advertising, transportation, conferencing - then when I hit banking in 2000, there is no turning back.

Banking and me, the relationship is intense and I cannot even explain why and how it turned out like that.

Just like in travelling - I discovered my curiousity is only for all things historical, cultural, old ... perhaps scenic on the side. I don't like relentless shopping and eating and night life. The exception of course is American shopping : outlets, Macys and Target...its culture !

I don't suppose I am wrong to build a routine, to discover what I like and don't like and stop experimenting.

Perhaps a prince charming will turn up one day to tell me I need to do thing differently.

Perhaps God may want me to turn to another role and job he has for me, his servant.

Till then, I shall not apologise for my box and continue to enjoy my routines and little pleasures of familiarity.

Joseph Prince

A friend of mind (hint : shares my birth date) says that she has a problem understanding what Pastor Prince meant that everything we Christians touch will be a success.


Its in the book "Unmerited Favour".


Our discussion went from that onto the difficulties we'd seen in some of our Christian friend's lives...and mine. Situations seemed to be real "suay".


One particular Christian friend had so many failures in his businesses that spilled into his family life that it seemed that he is destined for "suayness", not destined for kingship or to reign as Pastor Prince's famous book suggests.


My friend pointed out my "suayness" too as my previous employer had denied me my $150,000 performance commission on a stupid legality to save themselves lots of money in 2009 (bad year according to them, so its difficult to be "generous") ...I was particularly upset as its 12 months of exceptional work I delivered and I felt particularly bitter that my loyalty got me a stab in the back. Bitterness and disappointment and pain wore on me from March till May 2009 and I was so upset with God.


Today, 3 Jan 2010 - I look at my friend's "suayness" vs mine -- I think, the cases arent the same.


The fruits of my hands have prospered and yielded bountiful harvests for my employer. Its sad I had met an unscrupulous group but they will suffer their just desserts for cheating me. I was bitter but then, with God in my life, its difficult to be bitter and sad for long. I have forgiven them ......... for my God of justice will see that the years the locusts ate will be restore to me in manifold times. Perhaps, he may even throw my enemies at my feet some day. (Oh dear, why am I so gleeful at this thought ?)


Because of their betrayal of my loyalty..... I had left to seek greener pastures. I am now happily enscounced in a lovely work place with decent bosses and a wonderful brand. God hadn't "suayed" me... I think he had simply moved my cheese as its time to get out of the box. Restoration of my $150,000 will come. Its just when and how many times of $150k. thats all.


To be frank, I had liked staying in the box and my comfort zone. ... I sometimes wished that my stupid employer had simply paid me $10,000 and let me be. Then, I'd be happily sitting in my comfort zone and doing 10 hr days 300 days a year ...like I did for over 3 yrs.

Life isn't a bed of roses leaving my comfort zone.....building AUM is a tough job and I am starting from Ground Zero...which is lagi sian.


But getting out of the box means God gets to deliver me boxes of chocolates in unexpected shapes and tastes. These 6 months, I got some bitter chocs which I don't like but I learnt that its 68% pure Cacao. Sometimes its like kit kat which I love but its only a small bite. Then on the last week of December, God delivered me a super present of Extra Large toblerone with Macaroons on the side ... sooo nice !


I know that he has already gone ahead to give me a hope and a future. I just need to walk my path daily unto the perfect day and stay cool and stay confident of my blessedness. AND not be anxious on days I get rejections (bitter chocs). I have enough experiences with God to know he will make things happen and right.


But of my friend with his life long issues -- I think he doesn't know what Jesus can do. My friend needs a huge dose of Pastor Prince's preaching on the redemption work of the cross. He needs to bask in God's overwhelmiing flood of grace and grasp the reality of that in his life by WALKING in GRACE and not self effort.


Self effort has yielded only ashes. My 10 years sales life can attest that I can meet numbers best when I don't plan, I don't strategise, I don't think about work.


I just go into office and ask God to lead me for the day....then I spend the whole day just doing what I love. Look at my stocks monitor or FX monitor .....Find a stock to talk about to my clients, create a new product that they will love, pick up a phone to call a contact or set up a new prospect meeting.... voila, the numbers come bit by bit and when the month is over, its is GOOD. When the year is over, it is GOOD.


I remember when I was a school girl - I don't have to study as hard or memorise as much as some other pals and the results always turn out better than anyone else. I wasn't No 1 all the time but I can't help noticing that my studies don't seem as arduous as others and I did well enough. Best part, I "happen" to love all my subjects, so its no chore.


I wasnt schooled by Pastor Prince yet then... but it always seems to be like that. I put in 20% and got 100%....and I always love what I do

Now that Pastor Prince has taught me to see -- I recognised how much God has blessed me and my success really, is in my prayers. I only had 1 prayer in my school days, very simple but God seemed to respond well to it.


Dear God, please let me stay in B class or even go A class but please, no C class ! Amen.


I think I am super blessed. And I believe that as long as I walk confidently in his grace and his love, I can conquer the world.


God blessings line every road that I walk, sometimes even if I got on the wrong path, he redeems my path and sends me back on the track.

Sometimes, I got too far down the wrong path to turn back and God goes ahead to dig the road before me and pave them for me so as to lead me into a new direction ... I had walked on smoothen ground ( no matter how much I think my road has gravel and rocks, its smooth compared to so many others) and I get to go to new places I have no right to be, except for him.


I am not suay... I am super loved... I am super blessed.

"Super heng" in every way. Thank God

I'm Back !

I lost this wandering and rambling post for the longest time.....and found it today.

My sister has been calling me a scatter brain for the longest time and I think I may just have to admit to it. I can remember my client's portfolios and what we did on stocks or conversion prices of ELNs....... but when it comes down to the things in everyday life, I admit, I am a scatterbrain.

So dear blog.... I found you and I am gonna be a good girl and write on you often.

I'm Back !

Heaven on Earth

My colleague, definitely had been pissed before by a group of maybe right meaning but damn "thid" Christians .............asked me : If God is so good, so Loving.......why must he let only Christians go Heaven and non-believers must go hell. Why can't all humans go heaven.

Wah...cheem question.

I prayed a prayer of wisdom before volunteering my thoughts.

I really don't think everyone wants to go heaven. I don't even think everyone out there universally agrees there is a heaven. For sure, there are some who think reincarnation is the only way and spent a life time ensuring they get reborn in specific conditions.

There are people who think we'd become dust - that humans are devoid of souls or spirit (to Christians, there is soul and there is also spirit) - so from dust we come, to dust we return. No more, no less.

Then there are those who believe in a specific set of conditions that will get them to Heaven or Hell. May not be what God proposes in his own set. The Taoist proposal is as far from the Christian God's as North and South.

So at the end of the day, it boils down to this. God has a story to share with us...how he created us, why he created us, why he choose smallish Israel and let this small nation impact the world.

Why he sent Jesus, why is the death of the Jesus so important to set man free from the curses of our ancesters (which we believe can be partly evidenced in the genetic diseases that passed from generation to generation), the curses of our environment and damages men ourselves had created and the curses of our enemies (some we know, some we don't know who had been plotting silently against us).

In our genetics, in our damaged environments, in the retaliation of the natural forces against men's heinous acts against them (have you noticed the places where the worst atrocities take place - there is famine, there are earthquakes, there are floods etc Its like a natural force out there crying our, striking back).

If we can sit down and hear God's story, properly told (try Joseph Prince of New Creation Church)............the law and conscience that he wrote within us WILL tell us that this is really our God. Our innermost being will call out to the father who created us. Our every cell can testify and so will our spirits, no matter how damaged and fallen.

Then we allows us to exercise our freedom to choose and we wants us to choose him. But the vote is in our hands.

This Christian God is a really strange God. He started the idea of democracy which formed the basis of the Western worlds' political reformations.

He gave us freedom and he expects us to exercise that freedom to choose him. He believes in reciprocation. He gives LOVE and wants us to exercise our choice to LOVE him back. He delights in it, he wants it this way. He programed the world and man thus.

Then when we exercise that vote for him, we receive our Heaven. It starts right now on earth.

If we have genetic curses, we are redeemed. The holy spirit now residing inside you will help break those bondages inherited through our ancestors.

If we have very bad circumstances (bad karma as the Buddhists put it), the spirit will free us and lift us.

More than freed, Jesus says he will give us life and a life more abundant. If we know how to tap onto God's promises , this abundance includes everything we need. He says he is our El Shaddai - provider. Health, Wealth, Harmony, Righteousness, Ever Brighter paths until the perfect day.

God can't give everyone heaven after death as we are designed to inherit Heaven right here on earth. Death is only a stop on that path, its not the beginning neither is it an end. Its like a bus stop we have to stop by to change another vehicle on our way home.

But first, we have to believe his story and exercise our vote.

Poverty

Read that in the Philippines, a little girl committed suicide due to pessimism over the state of poverty in her home. A day earlier, she'd asked for $3 for schooling and her parents who bring home only $7 a week couldn't afford that.

The article blamed the poverty on a set of circumstances : parents who couldn't make ends meet and had to support many kids. ... employment that couldn't feed the children....The result of the catholic church's supposed opposition to birth control, as what the article seemed to imply.

What on earth is the government doing ? What is the church doing? What are the schools doing? What are the parents doing? What are the people of Philippines doing?

From practical, materialistic Singapore - I think a government that fails to generate employment and circumstances that leads to the betterment of its people - is a poor leader. If the people of the Philippines had been repeatedly putting the worst leaders up there, the democratic vote in their hands is wasted and to some extent, they had been responsible for their fate.

I happen to sponsor a Philippine boy from Bohol through World Vision. Are at least some Filipino doing something for their own people living just beyond their backyard ? Or are they so immune to the poverty around them that the plight of the poor can be brushed off easily, as nonenity?

A friend from Philippines once told me that it requires a lot of monies to run for elections. I wonder if this is what puts off a lot of people from standing for leadership roles. Could an alternative angle be that the Filipinos are hit by an apathetic condition that is worse than Singaporean's?

Singapore's apathy could be blamed on a satisfied people, with our government. There is really not much of a bone to pick with the PAP.

The apathy in Philippines : is it a sense of helplessness or deadened emotions from long years of frustration oor deadened conscience -no amount of human suffering right at the backyard has been able to jerk the able into action anymore.

If this is so, the most able of the Philippine people ~ especially if they are Christians~ owe a lot of explanations to God. They have a moral and Christian duty to be the light and salt of the world but have failed.

By able - I mean anyone who can run the country a lot better than Arroyo or Estrada or Ramos or Aquino. With a sense of obligation and moral tenacity to pull the country up and get as many people out of the poverty trap as they can. Your goal is the betterment of your nation.

Having met so many talented leaders in commerce, in church and art - the Philippines does have a large pool to draft from. I am sure you can find at least a group with the moral fibre that the Philippine need and can count on.

But hey Filippinos out there - do you have the guts to stand up and get out to do something for your country?

If God is in your camp, who can be against you? So what if you are a David meeting the Goliaths ? Our Heavenly Father will be pleased to support you if you are pure in your intentions. And when you stand up as a light for the world, I can't see why the people won't vote for you.

Wu Xia

I was born in the 70s and at that time, the prime time TV was all about HK serials. I grew up on a staple of Adam Cheng, Mi Xue, Liu Songren and then it became Andy Lau, Tony Leung Chiu Wai in the 80s.

At that time, Jin Yong and Liang YuSheng's swordfighting novels were hot and lots of TV serials were produced after them.

Thank God, mom was not into strict parenting and didn't mind me watching tons of TV. Granny was an ardent fan and I watched with her.....though sometimes, she remembered I was a primary schooler and scolded me into cutting back.

But unknown to her, instead of scuttling upstairs, I was catching TV through the "hole" in the wall separating the living room from the stairs.

My house then was a 60s style semi-D in Katong and typical of the architecture then, there is a wall separating the stairs from the living room and there are "holey" patterns on the wall that allows you to peep over the other side.

Well, a whole generation of Singapore's 70s generation -nope SE Asia's 70s generation - grew up on this diet of Jin Yong, Liang Yu Sheng based serials.

It bred a huge support base of Andy Lau, Tony Leung fans but it got further for some of us.

We progressed to reading those novels. This is no mean feat as in those days, the novels were published in traditional chinese script and we in Singapore, were taught the simplified characters.

What determination we possessed then !

The perseverence paid off in that it bred in us the "ambidexity" to switch between scripts. Jin Yong and Liang YuSheng's fantastic grasp of Chinese history, literature and culture seeped into their writings. The novels were rich literary works. Like osmosis, readers gained teachings no history, literature and cultural classes can teach in such short time.

A couple of years back, when I was in Fuzhou St Shanghai's bookshops, I came across a work which is basically analysing the impact of those novels on a whole generation of SE Asian Chinese and the resultant effects on bringing us closer to our roots : in history, literature and cultural understanding.

Without Jin Yong or Liang Yu Sheng, a lot of us would have been truly belachan (not banana nor potato) - neither shrimp, nor chilli, neither wholly Chinese nor wholly Malay or Peranakan.

Get Set, Start, Go

My dad and uncles had been blogging for years. This is my first, inspired by their passion for this past time. I'm a bit ashamed, these guys are decades older yet have picked this up sooner than me....decades younger.

Never knew my dad writes so well.... never knew him as well as I should have, except for through his blog.

As I get enveloped by my work and the stresses of Singaporean rat race, communication like it should be have not taken place. I am glad for the opportunity to know my dad better...even if its only through a passive manner like his blog.