Every day, I go to work. Then I go home. Then I sleep. Then I wake up and then I rush to go to work.
Cycle after cycle of the same routine and yet I don't really want to break out.
I have a peace in this routine. I enjoy life's routines and the little pleasures.
I especially look forward to the routine of hanging onto late Fridays, grocery shopping on Saturdays and cooking dinners and soups. Sunday's praise and worship followed by naps, facials or spa, read a book or surf aimlessly and preparing for the week ahead.
My friends and family warn me that if I don't break out of the comfort zone, I won't be able to get married. Find some one and move on to another phase....set up family and get kids.
I sometimes think if my job weren't so challenging and that I enjoy it so much then I would perhaps want to seek another phase. If I didn't enjoy my family and life's little pleasures so much, then I would be compelled to try something different.
I remember my wanderlust - in travelling the world to see as much of what I am curious about since I was 18. Then the wanderlust of hoping from industry to industry in search of finding my calling. I had experienced supermarkets, media and advertising, transportation, conferencing - then when I hit banking in 2000, there is no turning back.
Banking and me, the relationship is intense and I cannot even explain why and how it turned out like that.
Just like in travelling - I discovered my curiousity is only for all things historical, cultural, old ... perhaps scenic on the side. I don't like relentless shopping and eating and night life. The exception of course is American shopping : outlets, Macys and Target...its culture !
I don't suppose I am wrong to build a routine, to discover what I like and don't like and stop experimenting.
Perhaps a prince charming will turn up one day to tell me I need to do thing differently.
Perhaps God may want me to turn to another role and job he has for me, his servant.
Till then, I shall not apologise for my box and continue to enjoy my routines and little pleasures of familiarity.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Joseph Prince
A friend of mind (hint : shares my birth date) says that she has a problem understanding what Pastor Prince meant that everything we Christians touch will be a success.
Its in the book "Unmerited Favour".
Our discussion went from that onto the difficulties we'd seen in some of our Christian friend's lives...and mine. Situations seemed to be real "suay".
One particular Christian friend had so many failures in his businesses that spilled into his family life that it seemed that he is destined for "suayness", not destined for kingship or to reign as Pastor Prince's famous book suggests.
My friend pointed out my "suayness" too as my previous employer had denied me my $150,000 performance commission on a stupid legality to save themselves lots of money in 2009 (bad year according to them, so its difficult to be "generous") ...I was particularly upset as its 12 months of exceptional work I delivered and I felt particularly bitter that my loyalty got me a stab in the back. Bitterness and disappointment and pain wore on me from March till May 2009 and I was so upset with God.
Today, 3 Jan 2010 - I look at my friend's "suayness" vs mine -- I think, the cases arent the same.
The fruits of my hands have prospered and yielded bountiful harvests for my employer. Its sad I had met an unscrupulous group but they will suffer their just desserts for cheating me. I was bitter but then, with God in my life, its difficult to be bitter and sad for long. I have forgiven them ......... for my God of justice will see that the years the locusts ate will be restore to me in manifold times. Perhaps, he may even throw my enemies at my feet some day. (Oh dear, why am I so gleeful at this thought ?)
Because of their betrayal of my loyalty..... I had left to seek greener pastures. I am now happily enscounced in a lovely work place with decent bosses and a wonderful brand. God hadn't "suayed" me... I think he had simply moved my cheese as its time to get out of the box. Restoration of my $150,000 will come. Its just when and how many times of $150k. thats all.
To be frank, I had liked staying in the box and my comfort zone. ... I sometimes wished that my stupid employer had simply paid me $10,000 and let me be. Then, I'd be happily sitting in my comfort zone and doing 10 hr days 300 days a year ...like I did for over 3 yrs.
Life isn't a bed of roses leaving my comfort zone.....building AUM is a tough job and I am starting from Ground Zero...which is lagi sian.
But getting out of the box means God gets to deliver me boxes of chocolates in unexpected shapes and tastes. These 6 months, I got some bitter chocs which I don't like but I learnt that its 68% pure Cacao. Sometimes its like kit kat which I love but its only a small bite. Then on the last week of December, God delivered me a super present of Extra Large toblerone with Macaroons on the side ... sooo nice !
I know that he has already gone ahead to give me a hope and a future. I just need to walk my path daily unto the perfect day and stay cool and stay confident of my blessedness. AND not be anxious on days I get rejections (bitter chocs). I have enough experiences with God to know he will make things happen and right.
But of my friend with his life long issues -- I think he doesn't know what Jesus can do. My friend needs a huge dose of Pastor Prince's preaching on the redemption work of the cross. He needs to bask in God's overwhelmiing flood of grace and grasp the reality of that in his life by WALKING in GRACE and not self effort.
Self effort has yielded only ashes. My 10 years sales life can attest that I can meet numbers best when I don't plan, I don't strategise, I don't think about work.
I just go into office and ask God to lead me for the day....then I spend the whole day just doing what I love. Look at my stocks monitor or FX monitor .....Find a stock to talk about to my clients, create a new product that they will love, pick up a phone to call a contact or set up a new prospect meeting.... voila, the numbers come bit by bit and when the month is over, its is GOOD. When the year is over, it is GOOD.
I remember when I was a school girl - I don't have to study as hard or memorise as much as some other pals and the results always turn out better than anyone else. I wasn't No 1 all the time but I can't help noticing that my studies don't seem as arduous as others and I did well enough. Best part, I "happen" to love all my subjects, so its no chore.
I wasnt schooled by Pastor Prince yet then... but it always seems to be like that. I put in 20% and got 100%....and I always love what I do
Now that Pastor Prince has taught me to see -- I recognised how much God has blessed me and my success really, is in my prayers. I only had 1 prayer in my school days, very simple but God seemed to respond well to it.
Dear God, please let me stay in B class or even go A class but please, no C class ! Amen.
I think I am super blessed. And I believe that as long as I walk confidently in his grace and his love, I can conquer the world.
God blessings line every road that I walk, sometimes even if I got on the wrong path, he redeems my path and sends me back on the track.
Sometimes, I got too far down the wrong path to turn back and God goes ahead to dig the road before me and pave them for me so as to lead me into a new direction ... I had walked on smoothen ground ( no matter how much I think my road has gravel and rocks, its smooth compared to so many others) and I get to go to new places I have no right to be, except for him.
I am not suay... I am super loved... I am super blessed.
"Super heng" in every way. Thank God
Its in the book "Unmerited Favour".
Our discussion went from that onto the difficulties we'd seen in some of our Christian friend's lives...and mine. Situations seemed to be real "suay".
One particular Christian friend had so many failures in his businesses that spilled into his family life that it seemed that he is destined for "suayness", not destined for kingship or to reign as Pastor Prince's famous book suggests.
My friend pointed out my "suayness" too as my previous employer had denied me my $150,000 performance commission on a stupid legality to save themselves lots of money in 2009 (bad year according to them, so its difficult to be "generous") ...I was particularly upset as its 12 months of exceptional work I delivered and I felt particularly bitter that my loyalty got me a stab in the back. Bitterness and disappointment and pain wore on me from March till May 2009 and I was so upset with God.
Today, 3 Jan 2010 - I look at my friend's "suayness" vs mine -- I think, the cases arent the same.
The fruits of my hands have prospered and yielded bountiful harvests for my employer. Its sad I had met an unscrupulous group but they will suffer their just desserts for cheating me. I was bitter but then, with God in my life, its difficult to be bitter and sad for long. I have forgiven them ......... for my God of justice will see that the years the locusts ate will be restore to me in manifold times. Perhaps, he may even throw my enemies at my feet some day. (Oh dear, why am I so gleeful at this thought ?)
Because of their betrayal of my loyalty..... I had left to seek greener pastures. I am now happily enscounced in a lovely work place with decent bosses and a wonderful brand. God hadn't "suayed" me... I think he had simply moved my cheese as its time to get out of the box. Restoration of my $150,000 will come. Its just when and how many times of $150k. thats all.
To be frank, I had liked staying in the box and my comfort zone. ... I sometimes wished that my stupid employer had simply paid me $10,000 and let me be. Then, I'd be happily sitting in my comfort zone and doing 10 hr days 300 days a year ...like I did for over 3 yrs.
Life isn't a bed of roses leaving my comfort zone.....building AUM is a tough job and I am starting from Ground Zero...which is lagi sian.
But getting out of the box means God gets to deliver me boxes of chocolates in unexpected shapes and tastes. These 6 months, I got some bitter chocs which I don't like but I learnt that its 68% pure Cacao. Sometimes its like kit kat which I love but its only a small bite. Then on the last week of December, God delivered me a super present of Extra Large toblerone with Macaroons on the side ... sooo nice !
I know that he has already gone ahead to give me a hope and a future. I just need to walk my path daily unto the perfect day and stay cool and stay confident of my blessedness. AND not be anxious on days I get rejections (bitter chocs). I have enough experiences with God to know he will make things happen and right.
But of my friend with his life long issues -- I think he doesn't know what Jesus can do. My friend needs a huge dose of Pastor Prince's preaching on the redemption work of the cross. He needs to bask in God's overwhelmiing flood of grace and grasp the reality of that in his life by WALKING in GRACE and not self effort.
Self effort has yielded only ashes. My 10 years sales life can attest that I can meet numbers best when I don't plan, I don't strategise, I don't think about work.
I just go into office and ask God to lead me for the day....then I spend the whole day just doing what I love. Look at my stocks monitor or FX monitor .....Find a stock to talk about to my clients, create a new product that they will love, pick up a phone to call a contact or set up a new prospect meeting.... voila, the numbers come bit by bit and when the month is over, its is GOOD. When the year is over, it is GOOD.
I remember when I was a school girl - I don't have to study as hard or memorise as much as some other pals and the results always turn out better than anyone else. I wasn't No 1 all the time but I can't help noticing that my studies don't seem as arduous as others and I did well enough. Best part, I "happen" to love all my subjects, so its no chore.
I wasnt schooled by Pastor Prince yet then... but it always seems to be like that. I put in 20% and got 100%....and I always love what I do
Now that Pastor Prince has taught me to see -- I recognised how much God has blessed me and my success really, is in my prayers. I only had 1 prayer in my school days, very simple but God seemed to respond well to it.
Dear God, please let me stay in B class or even go A class but please, no C class ! Amen.
I think I am super blessed. And I believe that as long as I walk confidently in his grace and his love, I can conquer the world.
God blessings line every road that I walk, sometimes even if I got on the wrong path, he redeems my path and sends me back on the track.
Sometimes, I got too far down the wrong path to turn back and God goes ahead to dig the road before me and pave them for me so as to lead me into a new direction ... I had walked on smoothen ground ( no matter how much I think my road has gravel and rocks, its smooth compared to so many others) and I get to go to new places I have no right to be, except for him.
I am not suay... I am super loved... I am super blessed.
"Super heng" in every way. Thank God
I'm Back !
I lost this wandering and rambling post for the longest time.....and found it today.
My sister has been calling me a scatter brain for the longest time and I think I may just have to admit to it. I can remember my client's portfolios and what we did on stocks or conversion prices of ELNs....... but when it comes down to the things in everyday life, I admit, I am a scatterbrain.
So dear blog.... I found you and I am gonna be a good girl and write on you often.
I'm Back !
My sister has been calling me a scatter brain for the longest time and I think I may just have to admit to it. I can remember my client's portfolios and what we did on stocks or conversion prices of ELNs....... but when it comes down to the things in everyday life, I admit, I am a scatterbrain.
So dear blog.... I found you and I am gonna be a good girl and write on you often.
I'm Back !
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